Category: poetry

you do not have to be particularly unhappy;
sometimes all you need is to not be happy
enough. then you get your gaiety booster
prescribed by a man in white, and you wonder
a week later how on earth you woke up
on this uncomfortable bed with your arm
connected to a drip, the sound of wheeze
coming from the bed on the right and moaning
from the other side. and when will the bell
of a nearby cathedral toll another hour
until the next inevitable examination
of your subjection?

maybe i listened to too much dylan and read
too many romantic poets, but who could blame me
for feeling disappointed when, while searching for the path
where the falling leaves caressed her shadow, i realised
that she had deceived me, my girl from the north country.
now i know that, in one fell swoop, i lost my love i had
never had.

my watch stopped a long time ago.
at first, i thought it only paused
for a moment. but after a while,
i realised it was over, even despite
my pathetic attempts at resuscitation.
the only thing left was to take care
of its wretched remains. nothing,
not even the ultimate clockwork,
lasts forever. if only i could stop
pretending to be a watchmaker
who caught the time.

i try to understand her whisper
through the sound of the violin,
while someone in the background
asks about fears and someone else
burst out laughing when someone
drops a book on the floor. silence
is a hiccup.

you learnt how to say forever,
even though it was just for a moment.
you sought certainty as if on bail
awaiting trial and the answers
were anything but controlled doubts.
even forgiveness in this strange,
no longer man-friendly place
has turned into mere indifference.
but remember, oral hygiene is not always
about brushing your teeth.

it was amusing to make fun of paying
some of the highest prices in the world
for poor quality basic necessities,
like pretty mediocre home internet
for around eighty bucks a month.
we were amazed at their complete
lack of understanding of the outside
world, coupled with an incredible
sense of superiority. and it was puzzling
how it was possible for them to have
a much lower life expectancy than we do
and the highest maternal mortality rate
in the developed world.

but now we are simply terrified
that a teenager with an assault rifle
could kill people on the street and,
freed of charges, leave the courthouse
with his head held high, or another
extremist could drive a car into a crowd
of protesters with impunity. this is where
their dream can become a nightmare
for the rest of us.

Experience is not what happens to a man;
it is what a man does with what happens to him.

Aldous Huxley, Texts & Pretexts: An Anthology With Commentaries

i have always been a fruit connoisseur and never
missed the slightest opportunity to get acquainted
with the taste and texture of the unknown. not once.
that night, i tried a bunch of cotton candy grapes,
and then the williams’ bon chrétien pear, and even
an oriental persimmon. but in the end, as always,
i found solace in looking at the envy apple, the one
that i was forbidden to eat. and so the gardener
turned into his dog.

i get it; it is more noble to be a widow
than a divorcee, and with my broken heart,
there is hope. plus, there is also my life
insurance. is this what you are counting on?
because i am aware that my poetry has no value,
monetary at least, especially now that i share it
for free, so that can not be the reason for your
evasion. i also know that you do not love me,
if you ever did, as i tried to come back
three times and you always firmly refused.
anyway, i can see you blooming alone.
or is keeping me in limbo a kind of revenge
for wasting two decades of your life?
but that was my life too, so we are even.
whatever it is, i will always be grateful
for a reason to write.

interesting word, solitude. not quite loneliness,
yet already at a distance. a lot of time to learn
origami, or collect linguistic bygones, and practise
casually falling asleep on a ragged plush couch.
and, although involuntary at first, perhaps at some
point, it may become the only thing that actually
makes your morning coffee drinkable.