An idle coin

If you have studied statistics, you know
that there is a fifty-fifty chance
of landing heads or tails,
except I never toss a Tyrian shekel,
like a square of dark chocolate,
offered for every confession of love
we made when tired of playing
a perpetual opening night
watched by no one
but a souffleur in front of a telly
after another shot at Der Tod des Vergil
to assure you that the latest fixation
with venereabilia is nothing more than an expression
of intellectual eccentricity—
my legacy
that includes a three-bank typewriter,
a few sheets of genkō yōshi,
and a plumbago stick.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

About your vulva

When I think about your vulva
between five and six in the morning,
it’s nothing personal since ‘you’ is generic,
and ‘vulva’ is simply a noun—
no different from ‘elbow’ or ‘eyelid’—
just another item in the formal vocabulary,
and more relevant than your vagina,
which I’ve never seen, as I’m not a gynaecologist
but a poet looking for an adequate response
to a misnomer.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

Metamorphoses

If masturbation turns into a weekly chore
and yet you find yourself more concerned
with the grammatical adequacy of the sentiment
than its implications—where does it leave you?
After all, there was a time an afternoon nap
might have been just an inclination,
but now it’s a must.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

The convalescent

I never had chemo or radiation,
and the excision was swift and frigid,
with a wound festering for months,
but now, six years later, there is not much left—
a tiny scar where the heart is and the bills
that will always remind me of the growth:
amatoria neoplasia.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

A dread misplaced

ἐπειδήπερ ὅταν μὲν ἡμεῖς ὦμεν, ὁ θάνατος οὐ πάρεστιν· ὅταν δ᾽ ὁ θάνατος παρῇ, τόθ᾽ ἡμεῖς οὐκ ἐσμέν.
Epicurus, Letter to Menoeceus

Whether it’s a casual game of chess on the beach
or a night spent waiting at Helen Rivington House,
when they suddenly say ‘I’m afraid of death’,
people may actually mean they are afraid of dying—
a slippage that’s probably not as bizarre as kissing
in a confession booth to Gesang der Jünglinge
or replacing a cheval mirror in the boudoir
with its Conté sketch à la Seurat,
with one caveat:
you have never tried to explain death
to your kid.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

Committee

What a committee is
very much depends on where
and whom you ask, since it could be
a flower arranging committee
at a local church in Little Wallop,
or the Hellsing Production Committee,
or the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry,
or the Norwegian Nobel Committee,
or the People’s Committee of Siam,
or the Committee of Secret Correspondence,
and even the Committee of 300—
yet all I hear is
‘Come E.T.’.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

An old man

Is it weird to be an old man?
A few years ago, it would have been—
but now I no longer mind soggy pasta,
and I stay home so I don’t have to worry
about the ‘meant to be’ and simply smile
when I hear ‘Serait-ce possible alors?’.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

The pedestrian

I hate people
walking abreast across the pavement
so that they could yap
as if they were taking part
in Sympósion.
Saying that, I feel somewhat embarrassed—
not so much at the sentiment,
but at the excessive solemnity
of the expression.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com