in pursuit of the reason

i get it; it is more noble to be a widow
than a divorcee, and with my broken heart,
there is hope. plus, there is also my life
insurance. is this what you are counting on?
because i am aware that my poetry has no value,
monetary at least, especially now that i share it
for free, so that can not be the reason for your
evasion. i also know that you do not love me,
if you ever did, as i tried to come back
three times and you always firmly refused.
anyway, i can see you blooming alone.
or is keeping me in limbo a kind of revenge
for wasting two decades of your life?
but that was my life too, so we are even.
whatever it is, i will always be grateful
for a reason to write.