Between window shopping and visiting the ice cream parlour,
I went to an art gallery with my nieces today,
and while walking around, a thought occurred to me: what if art
is not what hangs on the walls, but what hides
the signs of boredom that anoint the faces of those viewing it?
If only I could believe in a sentence that begins with ‘I’ and ‘myself,’
one that soothes the gripping drama of coffee beans in a howling grinder,
one that covers the silence with ‘One too many mornings’ on the turntable,
one that sums up a man’s life without conveying persuasive language,
one that perhaps this once I myself would dare to resist falling for,
except the forbidden never asks for forgiveness, and that’s the sentence.
How far have we come from the caves
of Altamira, Lascaux, and Chauvet-Pont-d’Arc
to the pit on Mare Tranquillitatis—or how little?
In a way, it’s ironic that we plan to live in a cave
again, although the moon is no laughing matter,
since we like to think we’ve grown over the millennia,
even if in the end it’s just demographics.
Time measured by worn shirt collars and holes in socks,
or by glyphs drawn haphazardly by seagulls on windows
to be washed away by rain eventually, or by the varying
intensity and amplitude of pain in an arm—is it truly all
but nothing? After all, if I learned anything over time,
it was to appreciate a piece of home-made flatbread
with Moroccan-style hummus and black or green olives,
spiced with Sir Roger’s complaints about nightingales
and strumpets at Spring Garden.
Love is not a word—it’s an acronym,
but you will never learn what it stands for
until one day a man in a horsehair wig asks you
for its cash equivalent transfer value, or CETV,
and a few other lovely abbreviations.
I used to say that I’m never bored
because I share my time with a very interesting person
—myself. But lately, I’ve come to the conclusion
that I’m not that interesting after all.
Could this be why I so envy the bumblebees
bouncing off the linden blossoms outside the window?
Why cling to life if it’s such a hassle?
You have to take care of all the daily necessities
just to keep your body in shape, let alone your boredom-prone mind.
And then there is everything you crave—and often feel entitled to
as a creature of scripture—and what’s expected of you.
But whether you are Anton de Franckenpoint or Richebourg,
or the triumphant general in his quadriga or the auriga whispering in his ear,
you can count on nothing but two dates and perhaps a commemorative inscription
on your tombstone. Why then?
I doubt my parents asked that question that night, but five decades later,
I’m still looking for the answer.
If every sexually transmitted disease is a cause for shame,
why aren’t we ashamed of the deadliest of them all—life?
It has its moments—that’s true—but above all, it is a fight
against the daily dose of monotony. Sooner or later, we fall
for it—that if we learn the alphabet, then the highway code,
and follow the laid-out path, putting on a front, we will find
time to buy a ticket to bliss—only to get on the wrong train.
Tinker Bell tried to convince Peter that there was more to life
than peeking at public displays of affection, the disappointed
voice on an answering machine, or moments of happiness
scheduled for every other Sunday by court order.
She couldn’t stand the sight of him lying under the plastic fir,
whistling carols—for heaven’s sake, it’s June!—and wailing
that he could no longer remember a time when he was fearless.
Who said that one could only forget things that one once had?
Tinker Bell tried to be patient with him—even admitting that
they needed each other—but in the end, it proved too exhausting.
But before she left, she marked on his calendar the end
of mourning—one more arbitrary deadline he would never meet.
hidden pilcrow 