I live a simple life. If I’m hungry, I eat; if I smell, I take a shower.
I sleep for six hours and work for seven and a half, plus an hour for lunch.
Once a week, I masturbate or write a poem, and I still can’t believe I lost
my better half to the bus driver—unless it was a blessing, then I’m the winner,
or perhaps we both are. Maybe that’s why I can still look forward to losing
a game of chess to my little niece.