What does it mean to be a man? I really don’t know, to be perfectly honest. All the significant social functions defining my existence, like citizen, employee, or parent (I deliberately avoid the word father), have nothing to do with my gender and could just as easily be fulfilled if I were a woman. Even biologically, my role in maintaining the species is rather minor and purely accidental. Once I donate my semen, I might as well cease to exist if the mother obtains stable means of subsistence independent of my providing. One might say that I’m the role model for the children, but honestly, what are the roles that I’m supposed to teach them that specifically require my gender? And aren’t lesbian couples as good at parenting as straight ones, despite the lack of that extra accessory in their underwear that some men are so fond of? In the past, it was all simple—muscle power and ruthlessness—and once men consolidated their position, all they had to do was make sure that women had no chance to rise above their assigned roles, as perfectly captured in the slogan used under the German Empire: Kinder, Küche, Kirche, although the 3Ks mentality wasn’t something specifically German. Thus, men’s entire position and identity were based on oppression. This couldn’t last forever, despite continuous—in some places deadly—backlash all over the world, and when this whole structure started to fall apart, we discovered that the king was naked—the whole manhood thing was nothing but a hollow eggshell. The answers to this vary: bloody violence, right-wing extremism, Incel, depression, alcoholism, suicide, and so on—all destructive, all wrong. I’m sure there are also positive initiatives, but they are unnoticeable in the shadow of the above. I, myself, like many others, I’m sure, somehow managed to avoid the worst, but I’m still confused, insecure, and trying unsuccessfully to find my way through all this to define who I am as a man. The first step is to tell myself there is nothing wrong with being lost and vulnerable. Boys don’t cry no longer applies. We’ll see where this takes me.