there were supposed to be twelve traditional dishes
and carols for a family celebration, but why bother
with all that when there is no family to celebrate?
so i settled for a bowl of greek yoghurt with nuts
and fruit, and some not-so-romantic romcom.
later, i called my rebellious teens and their mother
with christmas wishes. to be honest, it took me longer
to prepare the yoghurt than the phone call lasted.
but i guess i do not really have the right to complain.
in the tradition in which i grew up, there is nothing
more important than a christmas eve vigil supper.
it is not that it has some kind of religious dimension
for me, as i am an atheist, and if i had to find an analogy,
i would consider it more of a birthday alike, but still.
and sitting in an empty flat, when i think about it,
i start to wonder what it is that we are supposed to be
celebrating tonight, because neither the family i come from,
nor the one i tried to create, survived even the starters.