The only thing missing

My late Sunday breakfast-turned-lunch
consisted of a piece of flatbread with peanut butter
and that overlong commercial for a jeweller from Fifth Avenue
showing what happens when you get your cat wet.
The only thing missing was a coupe of milk

and my decorator.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

The half-century mark

It puts me in a rather peculiar position when—rather than, considering my age, courting a preposterous dowager—I yearn for the creamy scent of a perfectly ripe banana, the inconsequential beauty of unwitting lasciviousness—even if one exhibits something as mundanely inappropriate as picking one’s nose, so it is impossible not to call one a perfect scandal—a sun-drenched firmament of tiny freckles, and more. I can’t wait to see how ridiculous I will be in ten years when I’m sixty.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

I am who I am

Each and every one of us likes to think that we are unique in our special way, but at the end of the day, there is always a Darwin or a Wallace who will find a pigeonhole for us in the taxonomy. If I had to characterise myself, it might be something like this:

  • Domain: Vocabulia (the users of words as opposed to Pugnia, who would rather use their fists)
  • Kingdom: Eloquentia (the effective users of language as opposed to Prolizi, that is, word wasters)
  • Phylum: Creatores (rather self-explanatory, as is the opposition: Interpretes)
  • Class: Scriptores (basically, writers vs. Oratores, that is, speakers)
  • Order: Poetae (poets, obviously, with Prosatores, prose writers, standing on the other side of the fence)
  • Family: Matutinae (who write in the morning, unlike Noctilucidae, who prefer the darkness of the night)
  • Tribe: Puristae (pure like the glass of water on their desk vs. Stimulantes, who can’t write a line without at least a sniff of coffee and cigarettes)
  • Genus: Hedonici (writing for eternal pleasure as opposed to Pecuniarii Pii, who write for money, but only from a pious source)
  • Species: Poeta Purus Hedonicus (I’d like to believe it’ll be me while I keep the copy of Stanley and Danko under my bed)

More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

Haggis

I have always wondered what haggis tastes like
because, despite living in Scotland for two decades,
I’ve never actually had the opportunity to try it,
and not for lack of desire, but due to dietary restrictions,
which would also apply to more foreign delicacies
like Yorkshire pudding (some Scots will appreciate the jest),
in toad in the hole in particular. Perhaps I’ll order it
for my last supper.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

It’s always fun in the swamps

Have you ever asked yourself what would happen to a trifling quote
from the now obsolete phone book if, after years of practising being sullen
(while baking flatbread in residual heat, which is a different matter entirely),
he were accused of condescension simply because of a garrulous sentence
that he dared to ridicule? Perhaps he recalls the fourth mystic ape, the one
covering his crotch, but where’s the fun in that? Nothing beats casual trolling,
after all, in the temple of tadpole literature.