I envy Étienne de La Boétie. Not only was he himself a man of many virtues, but he was also endowed with a great friendship, which lasted long after his untimely death, with another great Frenchman, Michel de Montaigne. Reading Montaigne’s letters published in William Carew Hazilitt’s 1877 edition of the Essays is moving proof of this.
I have always been touched by friendship, something I’ve never really experienced myself. I remember how fascinated I was reading the correspondence between Stanisław Lem and Sławomir Mrożek, or by the traces of friendship with Jerzy Giedroyć that I found in Witold Gombrowicz’s Diary (it turns out that their letters were also published—the book is certainly worth reading, so I have to add it to my list).
Unfortunately, the one time I had a chance for this type of connection, I ruined it due to my own artificiality of style. No sane person would agree to correspondence clearly conducted with publication in mind. I don’t even know what I was thinking then. This was back when online literary forums were popular. At one of them, I met someone who was a kindred spirit and also a literary scholar. He appreciated my poetry, and when I wrote a satirical drama, he simply loved it. After the forum was closed down, we kept in touch via e-mail, but when, after reading Mrożek’s and Lem’s letters, I started my strange styling, he fell silent. I regretted it, but the damage was done. I guess I wasn’t ready for a real connection with another human being—it was all just a stage play. Stupid really.
We have this saying in my native language: A Pole is wise after the damage. It’s a pity that the damage is required. What can I say other than forgive me, Piotr?
hidden pilcrow 