Tag: love

A watercolour painting showing a middle-aged man standing in his bedroom

What’s left to fiddle-faddle with?

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

So, here I am, turning quinquagenarian soon—no longer young, but not quite old yet either.
I decided to change something in my life, and since great things start small, or so they say,
I changed a detail—my briefs for boxers. I also spotted a tiny hole in the heel of the sock
I wore this morning, and for a brief moment, I weighed the pros and cons of darning it
or throwing it away, which is odd because I never paid much attention to my garment before,
so what difference does it make now that we parted ways?

A watercolour painting showing a man with an umbrella on a promenade in the evening, standing away from a woman sitting on a bench.

A lesson in passing time

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

It doesn’t matter that I read everything from Plato to Dostoyevsky
to Faludi and Greer, that I can write complex algorithms as well
as the occasional stanza or two, and that I know the difference
between epistemology and epistolography. To you, I’m just a bore.
At least we didn’t need to extend our only date beyond the length
of the promenade, and your blunt assessment quickly cured me
of online dating.

A surreal watercolour painting showing a man having breakfast

A bland diet for now

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

I’ve watched very many films—very bad ones—for a single line only,
and I’m gradually realising how these one-liners pave my sense of artificiality.
But I’ll be all right, I guess. It’s not like we stop making dinners
just because we burn our fingers once or twice.
For now, though, I think I’ll stick to silent cinema.
Who knows, maybe it will be like those avocado sandwiches
and chamomile tea that you first eat to soothe an upset stomach,
but after a while, they simply become your regular breakfast.

A surreal watercolor painting showing a half-angelic figure flying out of a room in the clouds and a man with a hat sitting thoughtfully on a stool

French breakfasts

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

You know it’s time to leave when every breakfast becomes an act
of desperation, and yet you prolong this little la-la land in denial
as if a stuffed croissant with café au lait were the epitome of certainty.

Didn’t you admit long ago that someone else had already spared you
from the hell of paradise? Knowing you, I doubt you have any desire
to answer. If anything, you’d pretend there was no question asked.

And there is still the unrewarding experience of returning home,
which sounds a bit melodramatic, even for someone like you,
but if you wanted to, it could simply be reduced to a logistics problem.

After all, a broken heart can’t find solace in complaining about cold feet.

Pencil sketch showing a man in pyjamas writing in bed

One last reflection before the shower

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

If I were to play a word association game,
the first thing that comes to mind
when love is mentioned would be films.

I don’t know how well it describes love,
but it certainly says quite a bit about me,
especially since I’m writing this at 1 a.m.,
after a day spent in my pyjamas
watching ‘Une nouvelle amie’ and ‘A Single Man’

on loop.

A surreal watercolor painting showing a man with a suitcase walking on the beach

The morning glory

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski3 Comments

They call it the morning glory, but what’s glorious about it?
If anything, it’s just an inconvenience, like phantom pain
after you left. I guess, as with everything in life, that too
will go away with time, and, whilst drear, it might even feel
cathartic to finally find something beyond this dangling
personal pronoun of mine.

A chessboard

The beaten play as much

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

I live a simple life. If I’m hungry, I eat; if I smell, I take a shower.
I sleep for six hours and work for seven and a half, plus an hour for lunch.
Once a week, I masturbate or write a poem, and I still can’t believe I lost
my better half to the bus driver—unless it was a blessing, then I’m the winner,
or perhaps we both are. Maybe that’s why I can still look forward to losing
a game of chess to my little niece.

Pencil sketch showing two young men looking at each other

A basic guide to vinyl record playing

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

Sometimes I wonder. If it had been a little less improvised,
with a slightly more suitable soundtrack, would it have gone better?
Our last day, I mean, or maybe the first—I’m not so sure anymore.
I guess it all came down to the fact that, somewhere between
a jar of grated horseradish and a jar of honey, we forgot
that turning on the turntable makes absolutely no sense
if we never place a record on the platter.

A watercolour picture showing a man and a child writing on a blackboard

The screech of chalk

Published on by Maciej Modzelewski1 Comment

If we mourned our birth, would we smile
at our funeral?

Look at us
standing in front of the blackboard,
diligently noting all the knick-knacks
that make up our daily routine.
Nothing but chalk dust.

We can’t even order ourselves some rain,
let alone find someone really nice
to listen to La Vie en Rose—no wonder
the soufflé is too soggy tonight.

If we mourned our birth, would we break
through the shrill screech of chalk?