Leave me alone!

Once upon a time, as a young journalist in post-communist Poland, I regarded the BBC as the golden standard of journalistic independence and professionalism. So you can imagine my disappointment when, after emigrating to the UK and making Scotland my new home, I realised that nothing could be further from the truth—the emperor-is-naked moment being the 2014 Scottish independence referendum. For that reason, among others, I don’t have a telly, and I don’t need a TV licence. And yet that wretched body keeps nagging me over and over again to buy one. There’s no way in hell I’ll ever do that, so stop distracting me from reading Lytton Strachey by the window. Actually, here is a thought: why not invent a licence for the window view? But know that—though for some reason I am eagerly awaiting the linden tree to bloom, as if the scent of the blossoms could exorcise the exhaust fumes—I’d rather draw the curtains than pay you a penny. Of course, you could always make bookshelves taxable by length or, better yet, charge a word fee, though in that case, I’m not so concerned: I don’t talk much, and my writing is usually concise.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

A Sunday dilemma

The thunderstorm season, with its usual titillations
and occasional remarks on lost virginity, had begun
with a rumbling on the windowsill and a heavenly groan
that woke him in the morning to a fundamental question:
Can one read the Great Romantics in sweatpants
or the Modernists in a tailcoat? Apparently,
even atheists like Mr Honk have their grave Sunday
dilemmas.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

Manhattan calls Esenwein

With a touch of disbelief,
Mr Honk listened
to a Gershwin-in-black-and-white,
a fidgeted-with idiosyncrasy
spiced up with corduroy—
the poor man’s velvet—
on the presenescent
intellectual’s back.

So there it was: incident,
emotion, crisis, suspense, climax,
dénouement, and conclusion,
all in the first four minutes.

No wonder the rest of the film
turned soporific.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

Feast

Like the dandelions and linden flowers,
Mr Honk was used to being seated below the salt;
in fact, he preferred the less exposed accommodation—
though still in the vicinity of the sangfroid suavity of people
of intellect, individuals of all genders and none—
where he could freely nibble the refined exchange
of Latin binomials between Equus monocerus
and Musca domestica.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

An unalloyed inhumorous invention

What does it mean to have a sense of humour
in a world where even the freckled can’t tell jokes
about freckles? Like a conjurer’s missing hat,
internalising ‘the great stone face’ in recall
might just be the silent answer,
even if apocryphal.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

It costs a ream

Who do you call on a foggy morning
if you stumble upon a body: a coroner
or a stationer? But, while still puzzling,
Mr Honk’s swift entanglement in a ream
wouldn’t have posed such a dilemma
if only he’d decided whether he had
woken up next to a cold cadaver
or his oeuvre.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

A merry-go-round

Every definition is a consequence.
Every consequence is a contribution.
Every contribution is a context.
Every context is a definition.
So what you are trying to say is
that every definition is a definition,
but I guess you wouldn’t settle
for another tautology, like the one
about love?


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com

The innocents

Like an indiscriminate drop cap,
Mr Honk sat within the margins
and ran deep into the paragraph,
for he had not been born to fit
into any of the respectable social roles—
nor was he ever meant to—
doomed to disappoint even if he tried,
yet he felt a smidgen of nostalgia
at discovering that he was not alone
in finding most novels to be
impossibly futile affairs.


More words to ponder at maciejmodzelewski.com