Sometimes I yearn for days with a gentle flavour,
like Thriday—marking the upcoming long weekend—
or a late birthday eve when I have to count out
a few dozen candles to decorate the cake.
I guess I’m starting to get tired of the daily toddling
from one lamppost to another, consumed by the desire
to bargain, whether it’s relationships in decay
or evening classes in applied thanatology.
I should live my life to the fullest, or so they say,
and actually living my life did cross my mind for a moment,
but that would require far too much energy,
so I’d rather settle for a cup of peppermint and rooibos brew
and a chapter of ‘Auto da Fé’,
and besides, it would be embarrassing if I failed
to fail.
Every now and then I spy on my neighbours—
a humble family of magpies—and I’ve always been struck
by how busy they are with their lives, but perhaps it’s easier
when you face your end after a measly few years.
With a lifespan like that, who would waste time
on meta-existence?
Poets often write about themselves,
yet sometimes they become the theme
driving their vainglorious stanzas,
but mostly there is nothing in their verse
but them.
I can’t stand waffling on
and have always appreciated the brevity of style,
but even for me a simple ‘I love you’ won’t cut it anymore—
I’ve learnt my lesson.
Perhaps next time just say
nothing,
whoever you are.
Wrapped in a blanket,
I pass the morning (it’s noon already?!)
with GLS’s letters and a piece of flatbread
with peanut butter and dried apricots
since peeping at long bygone lives
and inventing odd dishes is the most I can do
while I wait for the final act of misfortune
I brought upon myself when, in a hormonal haze,
I followed tradition and a state-sanctioned
cursed primal urge.
We are suffering not from the decay of theological beliefs but from the loss of solitude.
Bertrand Russell, ‘On Being Modern-Minded’
‘Life is an abomination, a conscious one more so’
is the mantra that wakes me up every morning,
but once that’s done, it’s time for a yoga session
while the flatbread bakes for a simple breakfast,
and after the body’s needs have been met,
intellectual nourishment is a matter of reflex,
with the occasional break for another meal or excretion
before finally returning to bed at the end of the day.
And while that’s all fine and dandy, sometimes it’s nice to have someone
remind you to breathe.
When does a tourist become a burgher,
and for a pedantic, yet unassuming gentleman
like myself, would it be an insurmountable transition?
After all, when I walk down Back Wynd,
no one can guess one way or the other,
and two decades in Granite City have instilled in me
a certain taste for grey, whether it be walls
or headstones.
Abandoned in no man’s land
between the living room and the kitchenette,
I read ‘Portrait of a Lady’ aloud
to the mealy-mouthed hum
of the microwave heating fish
and vegetables for my solitary dinner,
only to realise that it no longer mattered much
who I was before breakfast if no one was there
to tell me how to get through the supper.
hidden pilcrow 